This is the prologue to a book I am currently writing, any constructive critisium is welcome!

PROLOGUE-the Council of Deities


Lightning flashed violently in the sky overhanging the massive Elannan Valley. A dense fog, grey and barren, filled the air making it impossible to see more than a few yards in any direction. The long blades of grass, swaying gently in the ever flowing breeze of the valley, were a dull shade of grey as though the color had been seeped from it leaving only a shadow of its former existence. The foliage and plant life filling the forests surrounding the valley shared the eerie loss of color and the trees also appeared to have a dead appearance. The only color in the desolate valley was the dull pulsating emerald green light that seemed to emit from the heart of every tree in the surrounding forests. The light seemed to follow the rhythm of a slow heart beat.

Though lightning flashed and the trees emitted their eerie emerald green light, not a sound could be heard in any part of the massive valley but a soft boom, like distant thunder, sounding every couple seconds and growing louder, coming closer from somewhere in the heart of the massive forests around the valley. Louder and louder the sound came until the sound of branches breaking and being crushed by a massive weight could be heard as well, also becoming louder and louder with every passing second. Before long the two sounds seemed to merge together creating an earsplitting ensemble of noise that filled the valley. Finally, Like an explosion, two large creatures just barely shorter than the cedar trees they were crashing through and made of solid granite came bursting out of the foliage and underbrush into the seemingly vacant valley, leaving a trail of toppled trees and destroyed foliage in their wake. Between them walked a man, seemingly oblivious of the two horrific creatures.

They rose over thirty meters into the air, eyes glowing a vibrant jade green that burned like balls of fire in the otherwise empty eye sockets of the gigantic monsters. Their limbs were made of granite and a cackling emerald green electricity acted as the creatures joints joining the arms legs and heads of the creatures to their torsos. They had no faces or mouths to behold, only their fiery eyes suspended in their otherwise vacant holes.

They halted at the edge of forest and Gestured for the man to continue forward and before becoming still as statues. He tucked long strands of his silky silver hair over his left ear and continued forward, grunting and muttering, “pst, infernals…” in a low cold voice as he did so.

His long locks of silvery white hair fell to mid back and he wore only dark robes, a red sash around his waist. His piercing blue eyes stared ahead confident and proud.

As the man continued into the dense fog of the valley, the sound of the infernal’s cackling lighting died down until at last only the sound of the man’s dark black robes swooshing as he took each step could be heard. The fog swallowed him like the shadow of an eclipse as he continued ever further into the Elannan Valley.

He knew why he was there, walking through the fog of the abyss to where he would meet his fate. But he did not care, he was not afraid for what kind of god possesses such meaningless emotions as fear? Casso, Bringer of Chaos, god of destruction, did not fear, he was a cause of it. A sly grin tickled the corners of his lips as he abruptly stopped his long strides and stood still in the valley unable to see more than long blades of grass around him continuing to flow with the gentle breeze.

A moment later, the fog in Casso’s immediate vicinity was lifted and a cylinder of light fell upon him. Where there was once nothing but the tall, thick blades of discolored grass stood a massive judicial bench with seven equally imposing figures sitting upon it, their eyes trained on the Bringer of Chaos. The bench shared the odd discoloration as the trees. Casso had to incline his head upward to see those seated on the bench, as it rose several feet over his head, his long locks of silky silver hair fell lazily about his shoulders.

Seated in the center chair of the bench, and the Conventus of Council of Deities was Vorago the goddess of truth and justice, Goddess of Judgment. Long, thick locks of her shimmering golden hair was tied in one large braid that fell passed her waist, unseen to Casso. Her bold icy blue eyes gazed angrily down at the Bringer of Chaos as she brought her gavel down with three loud thuds that reverberated around the valley.

“Judgment shall be found here today,” proclaimed Vorago in a clear, strong voice. Like those around her, she wore jet black robes. The bulk of her plated armor worn under the robes made her head seem a slight bit small for body.

Casso grinned up at Vorago before glancing to her left and seeing the two gods and one goddess that he most valued to see. Their looks of outrage and betrayal were more than he could have asked for. Sitting beside Vorago was his mother, the Grand Scholar and the goddess of wisdom, Sephienta. Her otherwise flawless face streaked with tears, her curly brown hair falling about her shoulders. Next to her, Diabolus the Price of Darkness and the god of fear, glared down at his son in rage with blazing blood red eyes. Diabolus had the exact same long silvery white locks as Casso, framing his face that would appear beautiful and charming if not for the disgust twisting his features. Seated at the far end of the bench was Assero, the Father of Light and the god of courage, brother to Casso. He too had long strains of silvery white hair, though not quite as long as his father and brother. A well groomed beard gave him an ancient, intellectual demeanor. Unlike his parents seated next to him, Assero’s face appeared free of all emotion as he stared down at his brother as though he expected no less.

Turning to the right see saw the final three members that made up the Council of Deities. Seated next to the Goddess of Judgment, Vorago, was the god of creation, Creator of Worlds, Molior. His skin was solid rock, he had no hair and his eyes glowed like bright yellow bulbs of light. He too glared down at Casso with a stern expression set upon his face. Next to him sat the Ruler of the Abyss, goddess of the abyssal plane, Viritas. She alone stood out from the rest. Though she wore the same black robes as those of her counterparts, she bore no resemblance to any humanoid creature. She was made entirely of a dark vapor like substance that diffused readily, spreading apart in order to homogeneously distribute itself throughout the air around what would have had to be her head. Her eyes were like a emerald balls of fire suspended within the vapor. Other than her eyes she had no defining characteristics. Finally, seated next to the Ruler of the Abyss was the goddess of nature, Giver of Life, Vivificus. She had a noble and beautiful look about her. Her long, straight strains of soft auburn hair fell passed her shoulders and well passed her waist, nearly touching the ground from where she sat with her delicate hands in her lap. Her large green eyes stared down in obvious pity at Casso.

The look of empathy on Vivificus’ face made Casso tilt his head back and laugh which echoed loudly in the valley as the judges seven looked down at him in distaste. Wiping a tear from his eye he returned his amused gaze upon his executioners.

“You have been brought before this council,” began Vorago in a loud, strong voice that filled the valley, “to answer for accusations of breaking the One Law. You are being accused of meddling with the mortal world and causing many heartaches for those therein. This includes, but is not limited to, the taking of life on the planet Caelestis. The weakening of the world’s spirit, Victus Navita… and fusing your divine power with that of a mortal.”

Vorago was unable to continue as a sudden burst of rage escaped five of those seated at the bench. Only Vorago and Assero remained silent.

“Fusing your power with a mortal?!”

“This is an outrage!”

“I never would have thought…”

“You fused your power with a mortal?!”

Vorago was forced to at last pound her gavel down onto a block of wood on the bench, calling for order. Instantly silence consumed the valley once more. The only sound was that of Saphienta’s hushed sobs.

“Casso,” continued Vorago as though never interrupted, “Bringer of Chaos, god of destruction, how does thou plead?”
Casso locked eyes with Vorago as his grin grew wider. “I plead guilty, madam Conventus.” His voice was calm, free of care as though he was a man with naught to lose.

There was several moments of shocked silence where only Saphienta’s persistent whimpering was heard. The first to move was Diabolus who rose to his feet, looking at his son in a mixture of anger and disgust. Suddenly, the cylinder of light that cut them off from the relentless fog filling the valley began to fade until those present were illuminated by only a shadow of the light that was once so bright and vibrant. Had Casso been capable of fear, he would feel the hopeless, desperate feeling that came with his fathers transformation. However, Casso would never succumb to the overwhelming sensation of fear and so, when his father began to grow before his very eyes, taking a on a different, demonic shape and tearing the robes around him to form nothing but a loincloth, Casso merely grinned with amusement. Diabolus began to grow sleek black horns that rose straight, curving only slightly, several feet into the air. When his transformation was complete, he stood over three times his previous height with his almost unnaturally fit chest rising and falling with his deep intakes of breath. His skin was unnaturally black and slivers of crimson moved about his body in random succession. The blood red fire in his eyes only intensified as he pointed with malice at the god standing before him. His large dragon like wings flexed, glad to be free from the confines of his humanoid form.

“You,” said Diabolus, his voice booming across the valley like fierce thunder. “The Bringer of Chaos! How fit it is then that you should be the single deity to ever break the One Law since the beginning of existence. You bring humiliation and despair among not only your counterparts, but your blood! And yet you stand there, before the council of your brethren under accusations of betrayal, with a platitudinous, feebleminded grin on your face. Why, I ask you, have you brought this down upon yourself when you, being one of us know how futile disobedience is! Surely you have signed your fate away in this very valley!”
“It was a mere game.” grunted Casso before he began to cackle madly.

“A Game!” roared Diabolus over Casso’s mad cackling and once more murmurs of pity and shouts of rage overcame the valley. Vivificus sat stunned where she sat, her eyes wide and her mouth open.

“Silence!” came Vorago’s powerful voice and instantly the valley was silent except for Casso. Even Sephienta sat shocked in her seat as she looked down at her son.

“Bringer of Chaos,” said Vorago. “You play children’s games on the expense of others with utter disregard for your actions nor a care in your heart. You have plead guilty to the violation of the One Law. I therefore sentence you, god of destruction, to be stripped of your immortality and to spend your remaining years in the mortal world that you so desperately wish to be a part of. You will be cut off from Victus Navita so that your magic will fizzle and die should you attempt it leaving you exhausted and on the verge of death. Quickly will you learn the consequences of your actions. Have you anything to say before this sentence is carried out?”

Suddenly Casso’s face became serious and stern. His eyes flashed scarlet before he spoke in a bold and thunderous voice. “The game continues, this is naught but your turn. Mine comes soon, and the game’s end with it! I shall purge Caelestis of the scum inhabiting it and start anew, with me as emperor! Then shall come the fall of gods! I have seen it. I will crush you, all of you, and I then shall rule this realm and that of the living! It is a mere mater of time, but…” the grin began to once more tickle the corners of Casso’s lips. “…what is time when one is immortal.”

“You are immortal no longer,” said Vorago looking no more worried about Casso’s proclamation that she would of a child defeating her in combat.

At that, Casso was engulfed in a blazing green fire. He screamed in agony as he began to dematerialize and the fire that once consumed him vanished as suddenly as it had appeared. His scream echoed loudly as though trapped in a ravine as a loud pop sounded and where once stood the god of destruction was nothing but an impression his feet had left on the valley floor.

All was silent for several shocked moments while the gods and goddesses of the council stared down at the spot where once stood one of their brethren. It was Diabolus and Sephienta who first departed from Elennan Valley. Still beholding his demonic form, Diabolus clutched the shoulder of the Grand Scholar and together they vanished as suddenly as they had appeared. As they did so the light in the area returned. One by one the other members of the council vanished as well. Before long only Vorago and Assero remained behind.

Vorago continued to stare down at the spot where Casso had once stood, no emotion tempted her features. “Casso, Bringer of Chaos and god of destruction… he was brought about to weave his power into Victus Navita in order to allow for a balance. We could not make them perfect, could we? For then they would be gods themselves. We needed imperfection. We needed chaos. How odd then is it that now we find ourselves punishing him for doing that which he was made to do?” With the flicker of a weary smile she turned her gaze to Assero who sat in silence watching her.

“What is it you wish, Father Light?” asked Vorago, her voice now soft and delicate.

“Do you think that was wise, madam Conventus?” asked Assero.

“That what was wise?” responded Vorago with a bit of a bite to her tone. “If you speak of my judgment, my word is final.”

“You do not even care to hear the reasons I have for my opinion?” said Assero raising his eyebrows. “Are you, the goddess of truth and judgment, so vain as to not consider the council of your own dear friend?”

“If you wish to make your opinions known,” said Vorago, “very well. But let us leave this place.”

With a flick of Vorago’s wrist the valley around them, including the bench they sat upon, began to dematerialize to be replaced with a scene much unlike Elennan Valley. Assero now sat at a furnished oak table across from Vorago. Both wore new attire. Assero had on a cloth vest over a linen shirt and brown breeches while Vorago now wore a black silk dress. Looking around Assero instantly recognized the Lion’s Mane pub in the small harbor village of Purgal. There was nothing spectacular about it. A few tables with wooden chairs pushed in were scattered over the majority of the floor. Assero sat with his back to the entrance of the pub and looking at the wall to the back of Vorago he could see a rugged looking fireplace with fire blazing within. The pub was empty save a serving wench and a burly, rugged man that stood behind the bar scrubbing at the counter with a dirty rag. He was apparently oblivious to the two beings that had suddenly appeared in his pub. The serving wench started when she turned from where she had been cleaning a vacant table and saw Assero and Vorago seated behind her.

“Oh goodness!” She exclaimed, placing a fair skinned hand over her bosom as though to stop her heart from leaping through her chest. “I didn’t hear you come in, what will you be havin’?”

“Just two cups of honey tea, please,” said Vorago. She watched the serving wench depart before turning her attention back to Assero. “Ah, this is better is it not? The Abyssal Plane is such a dreadfully depressing place…”

“Aye,” said Assero as he glanced around the small pub. “What is it you see in this place?”

Vorago simply smiled at Assero as the serving wench returned with two steaming mugs of honey tea and set them before the pair. After a mumbled thanks she scurried off to another task and Vorago addressed Assero once more.

“I like their tea,” she said before taking a sip of her own tea.

Smiling, Assero took a sip of his own and wiped his lips with his thumb before speaking. “You realize that, though Casso may be cut off from the flow of Victus Navita, he still may find a way to wield the magic he once possessed, yes?”

“Perhaps,” said Vorago dismissively. “He may find a way, but how? The only way for one to control magic is to draw from Victus Navita, with one mere exception. And even if he does attempt to draw energy from a Animusilex, it would be but temporary. Only until he has depleted the reserve of energy stored therein and he would never regain the power he once had. Nor will he receive the blessing of long life as magicians do, regardless of whether he casts magic via Animusilex.

“There is no way his words will come to truth, I assure you.” Vorago went on to say. “I cast the judgment I did because it is a fate worse than exile, Assero. It is the one thing Casso would dread, to spend his final years as a mortal before he is finally cast into oblivion for his crimes. A mortal, the one thing Casso despises most.”

“Are you sure this is not a personal crusade for you?” asked Assero, leaning forward over his tea, its steam warming his bearded chin. “Would it not have been safer and more effective to cast him into oblivion now. Why drag this on for decades more, running the risk of Casso further causing Chaos, his very nature, on a planet that is already close to its destruction.”

“This I do not for personal gain,” said Vorago. “This I do for justice. It would not be justice to destroy his existence when he has not received naught a whip nor beating for his actions. As I told you my word is final.”

Assero looked at Vorago in silence for several moments before leaning back in his chair and taking a sip of honey tea. “Of course, madam Conventus.”

“I had an ulterior motive for bringing you here, Assero.” said Vorago as she too took a sip of her tea and gestured over Assero’s shoulder. When he turned he found that another had come into the pub while he had been listening to Vorago.

It was a woman with long brown hair braided and curled into a bun. She wore a yellow linen blouse and cradled a small baby in her arms that could not have been more than a few weeks old. She was standing at the bar speaking and smiling merrily to the serving wench that had been washing dishes in a sink behind the bar.

“The woman with the child?” asked Assero turning to address Vorago again who took another sip of tea and flashed another weary smile.

“Yes,” she said. “The child in her arms particularly.”

“What about her?”

“She,” sighed Vorago, “may be Caelestis’ last hope.”

“I’m not sure I understand,” confessed Assero. “Do you know something that I do not?”

“The world is dying.” said Vorago. “This you know. Victus Navita is beginning to waver, it is only a matter of time before it suffers irreparable damage. All I can tell you, my friend, is that one day that girl will come to you for guidance. You must light her path or all is lost.”

“I do not understand,” Assero repeated quirking an eyebrow.

“All will be made clear when the time is right,” said Vorago. She smiled affectionately at Assero for a moment before she suddenly vanished. Assero glanced once more at the woman cradling the child whose destiny was in his hands. Neither the serving wench nor the woman cradling the child had noticed Vorago’s sudden disappearance. He turned back to his tea and stared at it late into the afternoon, contemplating what he had just been told.

Though it took me awhile to get around to reading it due to it's length, I really like it! The story seems extremely interesting and you definitely did well to setting the scene in your own personal fantasy world. I hope you'll share more with us.

Now when I was first reading this I was considering telling you that once Casso was taken out of the scene, you should have ended the prologue, but when I continued on I understood why you didn't My suggestion is put break between these two paragraphs.

Quote :

At that, Casso was engulfed in a blazing green fire. He screamed in agony as he began to dematerialize and the fire that once consumed him vanished as suddenly as it had appeared. His scream echoed loudly as though trapped in a ravine as a loud pop sounded and where once stood the god of destruction was nothing but an impression his feet had left on the valley floor.

All was silent for several shocked moments while the gods and goddesses of the council stared down at the spot where once stood one of their brethren. It was Diabolus and Sephienta who first departed from Elennan Valley. Still beholding his demonic form, Diabolus clutched the shoulder of the Grand Scholar and together they vanished as suddenly as they had appeared. As they did so the light in the area returned. One by one the other members of the council vanished as well. Before long only Vorago and Assero remained behind.

So instead of just going on regularly, it goes on like this

Quote :

At that, Casso was engulfed in a blazing green fire. He screamed in agony as he began to dematerialize and the fire that once consumed him vanished as suddenly as it had appeared. His scream echoed loudly as though trapped in a ravine as a loud pop sounded and where once stood the god of destruction was nothing but an impression his feet had left on the valley floor.

***

All was silent for several shocked moments while the gods and goddesses of the council stared down at the spot where once stood one of their brethren. It was Diabolus and Sephienta who first departed from Elennan Valley. Still beholding his demonic form, Diabolus clutched the shoulder of the Grand Scholar and together they vanished as suddenly as they had appeared. As they did so the light in the area returned. One by one the other members of the council vanished as well. Before long only Vorago and Assero remained behind.

But other then that tiny suggestion I really did enjoy reading it. Good luck with writing more to this story.

thanks for the tip ill do that =)